Hump: True Tales of Sex After Kids
Hump: True Tales of Sex After Kids
In Hump: True Tales of Sex After Kids, author and mother of three Kimberly Ford takes a refreshing and humorous approach to the subjects of sex and parenting. Written as a memoir, this book is a short, easy read with a more laid-back and liberal tone.
Kim draws heavily from her own and her friends' experiences raising kids and keeping in touch with their sexual selves. As she is married to a man (as are her friends) this book focuses primarily on heterosexual partnerships. The book features stories of real women that run the gamut from lighthearted and tender to the more serious and thought-provoking. The book is divided into four parts: The Hump, Sticky Business, Up and Over, and The Backside. In addition, you'll find transitional "Arguments Against" chapters, that detail the many forces in life that conspire to throw a wrench in the wheels of our sex lives.
Part 1: The Hump tackles the delicate topic of reconnecting with your sensual self. Chapter 1, "Back in the Saddle" includes some real-life anecdotes about the first time having sex again post-pregnancy. You'll read about an all-woman erotic dancing lesson in Chapter 2's "Kinderotics" in which Kim and her friends tap into the erotic energy that all too often gets put on the shelf as the chaos of childcare and parenting take over. This section concludes with Kim's own harrowing tale of bedtime bedlam, and how a low-dose SSRI prescription gets the bad rep instead of weak batteries in a vibrator.
Part 2: Sticky Business revolves around familiarizing yourself with your body, cultivating and modeling healthy body image, and encouraging your children to love their bodies. Advice and anecdotes on sex toys in Chapter 6 "Secrets of the Magic Wand" fold nicely into a conversation about talking to your kids about sex and how differences in upbringing inform adult attitudes toward sex. Chapter 9 "I Touch Myself" takes a particularly humorous approach to the topics of childhood and adult masturbation.
Part 3: Up and Over takes on topics as diverse as porn (specifically one very pregnant woman's hatred and later, unabashed love for it), vasectomy, and a raucous and illuminating pleasure party. Chapter 14 "Snap!" stands out for its discussion of birth control failures, abortion, as well as unexpected pregnancies and the questions they raise for parents to be. You'll read several different women's stories and how they chose to handle these sometimes profoundly difficult situations.
Part 4: The Backside explores how a little creativity can remedy the post-vacation blues when you're thrust back into the routine with the kids, creating and sharing fantasies with your partner, and the transformative power of music. Kim also raises the subject of infidelity, and concludes with cherished moments of connection with a partner and anecdotes about fantastic sex with several of the couples featured throughout the book. After a conversation with moms of adolescents and teens, Kim muses on what's to come and concludes with some thoughts on maintaining a level of open communication with teens.
This book does a nice job of exploring topics not usually covered in sex after pregnancy books, and has surprising moments of depth and reflection on teaching healthy sexuality to children. You may find yourself borrowing some of Kim's ideas and instituting a "Private Time" for you and your sweetie to relax and recharge your sexual connection!
This book is a nice choice if you are looking for autobiographical essays rather than a guide book. If you would prefer a more structured guide with self-assessments and exercises to try, Love in the Time of Colic may be a good choice for you.
272 pages. Author: Kimberly Ford. 2008.
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